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Don’t worry this is a very common toddler sleep issue but one you should try to nip in the butt as often if you need to stay with your child until they go to sleep she will most likely wake during the night looking for you and needing you to help her return to sleep.

To avoid this issue forming, the phrase “I’ll be back to check on you” is very important. If your child is looking for you to stay, say sorry but you can’t but what you will do is come back in a minute to check on her, and do! Say goodnight to her, tell her you’ll be back and then return after a few seconds, praise her, tuck her in and leave saying you’ll be back again to check on her, reduce your interaction with her when you return but do give a reassuring smile, thumbs up or wink. Repeat this pushing out your response time by a few seconds until eventually your child goes off to sleep. Feel free to reduce your response time if you feel your little one is becoming anxious and then lengthen it again. She will go to sleep eventually!

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The number of naps your child has is not as important as the length of awake time between naps.  One baby may have 4-5 short naps while another has 3 longer naps, both are fine. If the awake period is too long between naps you run the risk of your baby becoming overtired which will inhibit their ability to settle for their next sleep.

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Age

I find the best time to wean a child off a soother is between 6 and 9 months of age or else wait until your child is 2.5/3 years old.  When used for sleeping the soother can sometimes be the cause of lots of night awakenings for babies as they don’t have the hand-eye co-ordination to replace the soother for themselves leading some babies to wake multiple times a night looking for it. In this scenario, I feel it is important for them to learn to settle without it as it is greatly inhibiting their sleep quality.

Children can usually find the soother for themselves when they are about 1 year old therefore it no longer disrupts sleep. I find it is best to wait until the child is older and you can explain why you (fairy/santa etc.) is taking the soother away and implement a reward system. I find taking the soother off a child between the age of 1 & 2.5 years too difficult as they don’t understand why it is gone and leads to a lot of heartache and tears all round.

Sleep Without Soother / Dummy

When you take the soother away your child is going to need to learn how to settle in another way. This will take time to learn. Therefore, be prepared for a few long evenings and periods of wakefulness during the night. Always remain calm with your child and empathetic but don’t introduce any habits you may regret later.

Babies
Use a very gentle settling technique whereby you are responding to your baby very frequently but don’t replace the soother with a bottle/breast/rocking….. dependency or your help will continually be needed during the night. If you use a gentle consistent response at every wakening you baby will learn how to settle themselves to sleep and resettle during the night without any assistance usually within 1 week.

Older child
Your child will need to learn how to wind themselves down and stop thinking about the soother, I find audio books can really help with this or soft gentle music, introduce a few nice breathing exercises with your child if you find he/she just cannot relax. Most of all be very patient and empathetic this is a big step for your child and it will take a little bit of time. Be prepared to be up during the night. Do try to avoid introducing any habits such as staying with your child until he is asleep. Remind your child you will be back to check on him and do check on him every 1-2 minutes until he eventually falls off to sleep. Your child will, in a little bit of time, with patience and consistency learn how to settle/resettle himself without the soother.

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